Talking to Cool People w/ Jason Frazell

Lars Emmerich - Thriller Author, retired F-16 fighter pilot, fellow guitar geek, suburban dad

August 31, 2022 Season 3 Episode 33
Talking to Cool People w/ Jason Frazell
Lars Emmerich - Thriller Author, retired F-16 fighter pilot, fellow guitar geek, suburban dad
Show Notes Transcript

Lars talks about his path from flying combat missions as an F-16 pilot to becoming a best-selling thriller author, Jason and Lars geek out on guitars and find out they share a guitar hero, and Lars gives his sage advice on what makes the most difference for parents.

"Watch your thoughts and emotions."

Lars Emmerich is an entrepreneur, musician, investor, athlete, retired fighter pilot, amateur wiseass, and international #1 best-selling author. Lars is the creator of the million-selling Sam Jameson series. He lives with his family in Denver, Colorado.

lars.buzz
https://www.instagram.com/author_lars_emmerich/
https://www.facebook.com/larsemmerichbooks

Enjoying the podcast? Please tell your friends, give us a shoutout and a follow on social media, and take a moment to leave us a review at https://lovethepodcast.com/talkingtocoolpeople.

Find the show at all of the cool spots below.

Website

Facebook

Instagram

If something from this or any episode has sparked your interest and you’d like to connect about it, please email us at podcast@jasonfrazell.com. We love hearing from our listeners!

If you are interested in being a guest on the show, please visit jasonfrazell.com/podcasts.

Find the show at all of the cool spots below and find us at jasonfrazell.com/podcasts.

Facebook

Instagram

Jason Frazell:

Everybody, my guest on the show today really excited about this one. I've never had anybody quite like this on the show before. It's Lars Emmerich. He's a thriller author. He's a retired F 16 fighter pilot. He's a fellow guitar lover, because we've been catching up about guitars before he press record. And what I would say Lars, arguably the most important is your suburban dad. I would I would guess that that's the thing you care the most about.

Lars Emmerich:

occupies a lot of time. Yeah,

Jason Frazell:

it does occupy a lot of time. And also depending on how old your kids are, they probably don't care about most of the rest of that stuff. We just said maybe, maybe they guitars but they're like, we just want you to be our dad. I was a I'm a I guess I'm a city dad slash country, dad, but I'm not a suburban dad. And you're coming in today from Colorado.

Lars Emmerich:

That's right. Parker, Colorado, just south of Denver.

Jason Frazell:

Nice. Nice Denver. You got a new quarterback out there. I did not get him any money fantasy draft. So the weekend. And I think the hope is up in Denver around football this year, I would guess it's a positive Sunday had some injuries again.

Lars Emmerich:

Yeah, you know, I used to follow professional sports quite closely too closely. One day, I realized it wasn't really helping me be a more effective person. And it wasn't helping me get to my goals. And there's better things I could do with my life. No judgment for folks who who love sports. That way, the way that I used to spend time on it, but I just haven't followed it that closely. And I find that I get a whole lot more done.

Jason Frazell:

Yeah, I think that my Sunday's, I've learned to multitask. Let's put it that way. I'm mostly NFL at this point. I'm the same. I used to be a huge, I grew up a huge sports fan. And now I'm really focused on NFL and then my wife is a Ohio State Buckeye, the sorry, the Ohio State. Which means, which means i, which is trademarked now, which is hilarious. Which means I'm married into a college football family because my alma mater sucks every year. But that's a whole different thing. This is interesting. Minnesota University of Minnesota. We're hockey school, which makes a lot of sense. Yeah, University of Denver and other big hockey school. Yeah. But I think this is an interesting start to this podcast large because we're actually talking about things that we that you don't nerd out about, which is the opposite of the question I do have for you. So if you don't get out about sports any longer What is something you do or not do nerd out about

Lars Emmerich:

our nerd out about music? To me, I love music. If you leave me alone for long enough, I'll be in my studio making a song. And it's something that I've I've loved forever. In fact, I, when I was in the Air Force, we we would deploy all over the place. And I had a particular guitar that I like to sneak along on these trips. Of course, you couldn't fit a guitar in the travel pod on an F 16. So I would, I would buy the intelligence officer, a six pack of beer, to put my guitar in the Intel pallet, other classified stuff. So it would make it through customs wherever in the world we were going. And I would, you know, on my deployment, I'd be able to practice of the guitar. It's been all over the world. You know, I bought it in Phoenix, and then took it back remote with me to South Korea. And then from there, it went to Europe and in Europe and went to Saudi Arabia and Turkey and Italy in Sardinia and Sicily and all these crazy places. So this guitar is really well traveled. And it's amazing. Go play it all the time. I just recorded a song we finished the song with it last week.

Jason Frazell:

You're going to tease at least tease me since I'm here with you and not say what this guitar is. Oh sure. It's a

Lars Emmerich:

it's an old Washburn btw too. Beautiful. I just picked it up for a few 100 bucks in because I I needed a new one. Because I was playing in the squadron rock band in Korea and had a problem with my other one where the B string kept just breaking in the middle in the middle of a solo or whatever. So I bought the silly thing. Then I A couple years later changed that all the hardware. I found a guy who made this special pickup selector switch so you could change all the geeky things about how the how your pickups turn guitar movements, the string movement into sound. Yeah, so it's serial number 001 on this device made yeah, overall but But yeah, if you asked me about nerding out and I pretty well nerd it out on Yeah.

Jason Frazell:

Very cool. Well, you know that there are a few conversations we've had I could we we could go down this road for the next 52 minutes but we're not because people will tune out very quickly and you have a lot of other things that you are up to and interested in. So now let's let's get to know you a little bit more and I think I'm going to caveat this question. This is about your comfort zone, Lars, it's like something that you're inside of your comfort zone, it's outside of others, I'm thinking, I'm going to take off the going Mach speed and a fighter jet. Most people would go, I think some of the population would say, Ooh, I'd like to try that. But it would be like, I would be the person who, like I would, if you would take me out, I would go with you. And I would probably be very scared. But that's obviously something you've built up over time. So what is what is something else that's inside of your comfort zone that you know is just way outside of something somebody will do?

Lars Emmerich:

Well, sending an art project out to the world. Like, like a novel, or an album. Comfortable might not be exactly the right word, but far less uncomfortable than I used to be in that piece of you in a way that is more true and more genuine. And also, less disguised, less packaged, even though it is packaged, even though it is produced. To some extent. The fundamental essence is is you and you can't you can't hide that it is what it is. Yeah. And you have it out there for the world to see and comment on. And they will

Jason Frazell:

say that, yeah, well, especially as an author, by definition, you're going to get reviews. Exactly. How do you remember when you released your first novel, how well what that experience was like,

Lars Emmerich:

I do, it feels like a different person ago. I shouldn't have released it. I released it too early. I revised it a number of times since then, it became a best seller. It's my least favorite book that I've written. And I began it, I think just kind of as an experiment as something that I have, had always wanted to do. And in the process, I think I realized that there, there might be something there. But I was minutes, it leaves you feeling quite vulnerable, about quite vulnerable. But it's interesting, interesting thing that happens as you release more work, whether it's, you know, it's fiction, or nonfiction or, or music or podcast or anything else. You're less precious about the early work. But you're more precious about the recent work. Because you feel that you've traversed an arc, your skills are better now. You're you're closer to perfect in the way that your art can. Perfect. So yeah, closer, closer to perfect. Closer when, whenever you are confronted with the flaws in your recent work, that still feels a bit it still feels a bit raw, you know? Yeah.

Jason Frazell:

One of the things I'm not an author, I don't think I ever will be I just writing is not my favorite thing to do, which is why we're on a podcast and not writing to each other. i One of the things that I if you I don't know if you know Tim Ferriss or like Tim Ferriss,

Lars Emmerich:

I don't know him personally, but I certainly named I've read his stuff. Yeah,

Jason Frazell:

yeah, he is a very popular monetized podcast, best selling author. He was talking about this on one of his podcasts, he says whatever he wants to realize how far he's come, he goes back and he listens to his first maybe 20 episodes. Yeah. Which reminds him and then every year he has this practice where he goes back some back and listens and like he's here's his progression. And Tim, without I don't know him either. But his whole brand is like You're never done. Like his whole his whole shtick is, there's always more to be done always more to be had more to do. What regarding putting your art out there? The I don't know if this resonates for you, Lars, but for me as a longtime podcast are the other things is like realizing you're never going to be it for everyone. And when you just realize that as long as you're it for the your people, that's enough. That's pretty cool. That's a cool feeling.

Lars Emmerich:

It sure is. And it's a it's a difficult one to arrive at, especially as you're beginning. Because if if you are making your way and in a particular world, there are certain expectations inside that world. And you better meet most of them if you want to be relevant in that world. And you better flaunt a small number of them strategically, so that you can stand out in that world. And finding that balance is well, it's never a complete balance for everybody. You'll in your attempt to be and do whatever your impression is of what is needed in this current market right now. You're you're never going to hit the mark for everybody. You know, there's a certain level of freedom that comes when you realize that you're like, ah, eff it, I'm just gonna do what I do. Do the best that I can. And we'll see what we'll see what happens.

Jason Frazell:

Yeah, and also the, we're moving on to the next thing here. overwhelming amount of options we all have is just, it's just like you talk about music, talk about books, and I think about prior to online books, your options where you went to the store, and you had the best sellers listed on a shelf in the front. And most people would go, a lot of people go there, or for those who traveled a lot, you'd go to the airport, you'd be like, hey, what's the new thing out? And then you would go and see, hey, there's a list of these 20 books and fiction and nonfiction, and I'm going to read one of these 20. Now, there's how many God knows how many lists, there's just, I mean, Amazon obviously has those lists. But there's also a million categories. So if you decide you like the brilliance that they have done with the niching of the categories, too, it's just so, so brilliant. Yeah, it's like, we'll go on about this forever. I was just flying. This weekend, I was looking at the bookstore to go, I remember when that used to be like the location at the airport. Now you're like, Oh, I could just go to my iPad at the gate on the Wi Fi and see what's out there. That's right. So yeah, so largely, we take a look at the other side of that question, what's something that is outside of your comfort zone that you know, other people enjoy doing or are happy to do so

Lars Emmerich:

outside of my comfort zone, comfort zone that other people enjoy? And I don't, there's nothing that comes to mind. In that regard. I sit right, right on the middle of introvert and extrovert. So I'm pretty happy here in this in the studio working on a book working on a song. I'm also really happy in a crowd. And I am perfectly fine in a dark room, working on things. And I'm also fine on a stage talking to a room full of people. I wasn't always, but that came with it came with 20 years as a as a fighter pilot. And then most of those years were as an instructor and got a flight lead and mission commander. So sometimes there's a whole room full of people who you're, you're guiding, you're leading, you're teaching, you're helping. And you're also learning from, and that is a man, that's a vulnerable place at the beginning, certainly, especially in an environment where you're talking about life or death things. And, yeah, everybody in the room is taking notes on the things that you stay wrong.

Jason Frazell:

And say, I was gonna say, say wrong.

Lars Emmerich:

And on your misspeaks and, you know, your your mannerisms, and it's a really great school to, you know, really great way to become clear and deliberate about what you're saying. So, yeah, I don't have I don't think an area where I'm, I'm willing to actually there is one thing that I that makes me super uncomfortable. Whenever I'm witnessing someone embarrassing themselves. I feel embarrassed for them. And oh, super uncomfortable. I would much rather not witness that. So maybe other people are comfortable in that environment and find humor in it. I don't, I would rather you didn't embarrass yourself in front of me. So that's probably not the answer that you're looking for. But

Jason Frazell:

now that's great. Lars. So is it fair to say you're not a Seinfeld fan or a Larry David fan then? Because that's just all about? How do these people just embarrass themselves? Or they you know, they do these things that are like, it's like the cringe factor on purpose. Yeah.

Lars Emmerich:

I'll tell you the one that that most memorably, did you ever watch. The Mrs Maisel Series.

Jason Frazell:

I love it. Yeah. Listen, I love that show. Yeah, I love

Lars Emmerich:

most of it. Except those moments when she's bombing, obnoxiously, those ones are turned off, so that I felt less so. But but those those moments in that show when she's just really like, tone deaf, and won't let go. She just keeps pushing. She's marching directly down the wrong alley, and she just keeps gaining momentum. It's just so painful to watch.

Jason Frazell:

Yeah, so like bad comedy is not something you like. I mean, most people don't like bad comedy, but you're just like, this is just I can't even be

Lars Emmerich:

this far from me. Yeah, but I realized I appreciate from having heard other comics talk about it, how important that is to the process and development of it. There's certainly parallels, like putting out a book that you hate now, or listening to old podcasts or listening to old songs that you sort of cringe a little bit. Yeah. When you when you experience again, but that's part of the process

Jason Frazell:

as part of the process part of the process. Large you've mentioned Speaking, you've been an instructor. Do speaking now I'm sure as an author, you're out there speaking on podcast, obviously, if I was to give you only five minutes, and the whole world would get to hear what you want to say, what you have to say to all of us, what would you what would you talk about? What would be your call to action for us all?

Lars Emmerich:

That's a beautiful question. The first thing is, all of this will be a cliche. And the beautiful thing about her things, 50 is that you have hard life lessons that you grind through, and you attain a new VISTA, a new mountaintop that you look out on the world from, and you have this new light within you because you've gained this wisdom and insight. And when you go to summarize what you have learned through this arduous path, you'll say something like, love yourself. Yeah, right. Me, I live for the past five years. So I could say love yourself, that's like on a cereal box or something. So with that caveat, I would say that the most important thing you can do is give yourself grace. Give yourself love. And pay attention to the thoughts that pop up inside of your head. Because they are the story that you're living into. If you're like most of us, and thoughts are like trains, they come and go in the train station of your mind, most of us find that we have inadvertently climbed on climbed aboard the first train to leave the station. And that train may be headed toward anger or bitterness, or jealousy or resentment or embarrassment, or, and before we know it we're living in to that we're expressing we're playing the role of someone who is angry, bitter, embarrassed, jealous, resentful. And we didn't mean to. It's not our highest self. When we gain the opportunity and in the skill, the feeling that arise inside of you. There's that thing again, my stomach is tight. My heart's beating faster, my mouth is getting a little dry. Something's happening. What's the thing? Oh, it's this again. It's this inadequacy story coming up again. It's making me feel anger, right was was what's anger covering up in this moment? It's covering up the inadequacy story, or it's covering up the jealousy story, or it's covering up one of these kinds of stories. What do I need to do about it right now? Well, most of us feel like we need to go change something in the external world right now, to fix this internal feeling, which showed up like weather, right? It showed up, not because it maps directly to reality, it showed up because emotions just show up. Rain clouds just show up in the sky, not because there's anything wrong with the sky. But because that's the nature of the sky. Recognizing that give yourself the love and the grace to recognize that this happens to you. There's nothing wrong with you. Because you're feeling this number one, number two, you probably don't want to live into it. You probably don't want to say those snappy, angry things that would feel so good in the moment to say, you probably just want to give it a moment. And let that pass. And then ask yourself, What values do I want to live into here? I want to live into the value of respect. I want to live in the value of self respect, I want to live into the value of love of kindness, rather than living into the story of injury or anger. So those would be the things. Yeah, get good at listening to what's happening inside. Give yourself grace, because most of what you most of what comes up is, I mean, it is the thing that your six year old would say. But your brain still thinks it. It's still in there, that six year old is still in there saying crap, amen. About this. Yep. You don't have to live into that. But you also don't have to beat yourself up. It's totally normal for that six year old still to live inside your brain. But if you give it just a beat, to let it pass, and then choose the vector that you want, choose the value you want to live into. And if you're just looking for a value, you're not sure exactly which one, just try kindness. Try that. It just feels good one. You find yourself because of the person you're talking to ask yourself What kind of relationship you want to make out of this, what kind of outcome you want to help facilitate out of this. And gosh, it's amazing. How much less you try to control us about the feelings that are inside of you and about the way other people feel, act and behave. If, and how much more allows you just to enjoy the moments that you have, rather than creating crises that don't need to be created.

Jason Frazell:

Yeah, that's beautiful. Lars. I'm gonna say a couple things before we go to the commercial break here. One. I think your children are fortunate to have you as their father, if that's a message that you share with them, too. That is a hard fought battle, that I liken this to, like parenting, running a startup, the things you just outlined, these are common knowledge that the like that is, that is I wouldn't call it a cliche, it's just anybody you know, who hits a certain point in life, if they have success, they'll generally outline some something along those lines. And yet, you can go to the bookstore and buy books, a million books on parenting on what you just said, how to create more self love authenticity, how to be kind to people, you can read books on all sorts of things. And I had a coach once you call them self help books, because they don't read, like, we read them. And then we go, Hey, like, oh, now I'm gonna have more self love. But the truth is, it doesn't work. That way. You don't read about concepts and learn them. If it did, then, as a parent, we wouldn't need we wouldn't need these books. So I just love that. And then the last thing I'll say, before we go here is like, I just love the way the universe works. I had a client this morning, a brand new client. He has he's a GM of a manufacturing company. And he has a staff of 1250 people. And I said, Hey, like, as we start to get to know each other, we start doing work together. What do you want me to know about you? And he said, I have zero self confidence. And I said, you have zero self confidence. He goes, I always relate to myself, as the kid who never grew up who barely graduated from high school, and rose up from the floor, like from the factory floor. And I ended up here because of experience because I knew some good people, not because I'm good at what I do. And I say, and I like as somebody who's complete outsider, we all I think we all have that version of that story somewhere in some way, shape, or form. It just blew my mind. This guy is running a large division of a company like he's like, No, I have zero self confidence, zero. And he's like, the way I get through the day is I just drive and I push and I push and I push and I said, What's your? And I said, I said, on a scale from zero to 10? How would you rate your stress level? He's like, anywhere between eight and 8.5 to 9.5. On a daily basis. I said, Oh, I'm glad we're meeting now. This is it's a good time for us to start doing some work together. But yeah, a large beautiful, beautiful message. Beautiful message also, as somebody you, you have operated in a very like fighter pilot, that's a very hyper that's a by definition, a high performance context, published in Best Selling Author and other high performance published context, where I would imagine for somebody like you, it's even easier to get caught up in that comparison. And like the next, you know, like, everybody, you're in the context you live in as everybody's smart. everybody around you is good at what they do. And like, how do you do that? It's like playing in a band where everybody's amazing. So really beautiful, really beautiful answer large a beautiful answer to a beautiful question, I guess. Thank you very much for that. We'll be right back after this.

Unknown:

The talking to cool people podcast is brought to you by Jason for sell coaching. Jason works with amazing people who are looking to find and develop their passion and purpose and create their journey to wherever it is they want to go. Check us out at Jason frazell.com, Facebook or on Instagram. Jason loves hearing from anyone who thinks it would be cool to connect, to be coached, or to be a guest on our show. email him at podcast at Jason frazell.com or DM him on Facebook and Instagram. And now, back to some a more amazing conversation on talking to cool people.

Jason Frazell:

Alright, Lars. So what do we know about you so far, we know your best selling author. You're a retired fighter pilot, we know that you have snuck your guitar through Intel. I forget what you call it. But that was an amazing pproach pro tip. I don't know if that's still a thing. But you snuck your guitar through the place where they would not inspect you at customs and you had a guitar there. You know your dad. What else? What else would you like us to know about you?

Lars Emmerich:

Yeah, that's a lot about about what I've done. What I think I hope. The way I think about this question is in the context of what do I want my kids to remember about me? And I think I just want them to remember how much I love them and how I want them to feel loved when they think of me and so I You know that it sounds nice and pretty, and you can put a bow on it and sell it on a Hallmark card or something. It's really hard to execute on that when your six year old is screaming about broccoli or something. And you're having one of those surreal moments where you're almost about ready to lose your lose your mind. Yeah, it's those moments that are when it's hardest to recognize and to live into, what do I want them? What do I want out of this? Do I really care if she eats or broccoli? Or do I care that she feels that she has a guide and an ally, and a protector, and also someone who enables her to live her own life and go her own way? And am I somebody that my kids would want to talk to. So I think that's, that occupies a good bit of my bandwidth. Because it takes a good bit of bandwidth to watch your own emotional state while you're dealing with. Yeah, my life so that I'm around them a lot. And, you know, I've shoved a lot of stuff to the side and out of the way and I pray all the things that I produce, I produce much more slowly than I used to, because I have these people in my life. And I wouldn't change that. But it is work on that level for sure to keep tabs on the thoughts drifting across my consciousness.

Jason Frazell:

And I feel like I'm getting coached by you. Today, I'm getting motivated. I have a six year old and an almost two year old. And the thing about am I somebody my kids want to talk to, is like a really powerful prompt for me to think about that. Of course you do now, but is it somebody that we would? Would they want to connect with me? And like? What do you do when you realize that you haven't lived up to expectations in that way? Because you're human, you're going to not gonna be perfect. How do you like let's say that you had a falling out with a kid or you realize you didn't show up? Where you want it to, or you got angry and represent yourself in a way that you're not committed to? What do you do to adjust?

Lars Emmerich:

We had a saying, flying F 16, to fess up when you f up. And there was an ethos of not shoving your mistakes under the rug, but bringing them forward and and we watched the tapes, every everything you see out the front, everything that you see in the year two multifunction displays one above each knee, that's all recorded. So there's a lot of truth data to help you fix your data, fix your business. And there's a lot of there's a lot of institutional ethos around bringing that forward so that you reinforce your own lessons, but also share your mistakes that other guys don't make them. I try to do the same thing with my kids, when I screw up. And I try to do this. As soon as I recognize that I've I've gone farther than I care to or I've gone have gone someplace that I would not go if I hadn't been riled up, you know, and we're all human. And if you push me far enough, I guarantee I'll blow up on you. I'm trying to shove that threshold further and further out through this, this awareness but I always try to stay as soon as I recognize it. I'm very sorry. Here's what I did, that I didn't like and that I wish I hadn't done. And I hope you'll forgive me for and it's something that I will continue to work on. And it's interesting to watch. Even even in a kid who's 3456 years old energy just change changes. Yeah, when you admit your fallibility and your humanity there's there's an hour kind of opportunity to meet each other human to human. And to set aside for a moment this kind of authority figure and subject relationship that a parent and a child have. And so that's something just magical about discovering and bringing out what in bringing attention to your own mistakes and then an apologist sincere apology for them. It really I think it really means things quickly, which of course is another cliche, right?

Jason Frazell:

I would say like stereotypes cliches are generally around for a reason. Because they make sense and they're they're usually universal truths in some way. Certain ones anyway, the the saying one of my good friends she has this saying she's a she's an executive coach. She Does Is this the hill you're willing to die on? Yeah, and I hear that and like, as a dog as a father of a six year old? Do I want to die with the broccoli? Like, is this the thing that we're gonna go to the mat for with us? You know, strong, six year old with a strong personality? Is the she's not embedded the exact time is this the thing that like is going on? Is this like, the biggest concern of my life is kind of like what I'm looking at of all the other things. So really awesome. Again, again, I, I want to want to get your kids on here at some point, interview them and see how much see how perfect you are at this. They're like, dance full of crap,

Lars Emmerich:

I'm sure. A lot of notes. Yeah,

Jason Frazell:

he's like, he's like, he never apologizes. What is he talking about? No, I'm so mad at him while

Lars Emmerich:

he goes get involved, you know, like, if you don't realize it's happening inside of you. But when the kid defies you and says, I hear what you're saying, and I choose not to do any bit of it or even pay attention to it. There's a part of us, it's like, no, this, this can't stand, right. Yeah, you still have to have some respect. Because one of us has to be in charge. And you're six. You can go bring home the bacon, one of us has to call the shots. So yeah, you know, you don't want to set up some anarchy thing. But if your kid is strong willed, if you get into this, this battle of wills. Yeah, always overpower your child. But it's a huge, huge cost your relationship with them. It's very, especially if you have a strong willed kid. And my youngest, she does not back down. She will not back down. Even Even if and maybe even especially when she's wrong right now. So that, you know, I was much more obedient to authority, although I always chafed under those bits. Oh, yeah. But she's not that way at all. So the challenge for me is, how do I make allies with her in these situations? By the way, this is all metaphors for working with adults in your life too. Because you can really, you can see these patterns, you know, how do I Oh, yeah. How do I make allies with this person? Or how do we find how do I just charge for common ground? Instead of picking out differences? Yeah,

Jason Frazell:

very cool. Very cool. Wilson's is kind of become your podcast anyway. And I've been learning from you. I've been asking you questions that just to better myself, as a father are feeling a little, you know, I'm feeling a little less than over here about how I haven't quite achieved this level of greatness, Lars?

Lars Emmerich:

It's just a recognition of a process. This is Yeah,

Jason Frazell:

no, totally. Yeah, no, it's a process. Yeah. Well, what, um, what would you like to ask me that I can answer for you.

Lars Emmerich:

What is the hardest client situation that you've helped somebody through?

Jason Frazell:

Artist, my brain goes to the business answer. That was here. Raising raising capital. That process I work with a lot of startup founders, the process of, you know, the 100 200 300 knows. And I'm sure this probably resonates for you as an artist as specifically in the writing realm. And if it doesn't, just let me know. But, you know, tech founders are like, artists, they have this thing that they believe in so much, and it is actually their thing. It's their baby. And then they go out, and they think it's the greatest thing ever. And then they get no, no, no, no, no, over and over again, because people don't see their vision, they're not willing to see their vision or the, they're so attached to it being the thing that's going to change the world, or the thing that's going to, you know, be the next billion dollar company, that it's hard to hear those noes. And this is another example, there's books written about this all the time, this is common knowledge that this is the way it processes gonna go. But when you're on the receiving end of it, it doesn't feel good. Exactly. So a lot of times those sort of conversations are around. I'm not necessarily helping them with the strategy. They have their own team for that. But it's more like, what do you want to do about it? And what's your natural, so large, like the thing I look at there is like, what's your natural pattern? Are you a quitter? Do you say, forget it? Do you pivot? Do you to quickly pivot because one person says that this is the thing you should do. And we all you could read a million stories about how pivoting is actually not the thing that people do, and they end up being really successful. And then I think along that, like the hardest one is when you have founders that don't make it for a variety of reasons. I was working with somebody, they didn't make it because you got frauded you got fraudulent fraud, which is really, really hard because the idea was cool. So on a business perspective, that's the most challenging thing. I will answer This from like a personal perspective is, and I know you do you do a lot of business type coaching in specific industries as well. Like the hardest part on a personal level is whether or not you get hired for the business or the How to you generally to all my clients, like I know a lot about them. I know about their families, they have children, I, it's kind of the thing, I met somebody today and it's in it's in a business context and within 20 minutes, he's like, I don't have any self confidence. So like, that's not just a business context that's everywhere in his life. So is when your clients go through stuff, you know, passings, or just you know, life stuff. Because I care about all of them. And I care about them as humans. And it it's like an it's like anything else. It's just that that becomes challenging. That would be my answer your question, which is nobody's ever asked me that's a really, really, really beautiful question. Thank you anyway, yeah. Yeah, really great question. So Lars, what are you passionate about? Oh, man, you're like, where to begin?

Lars Emmerich:

What am I not passionate about? Sort of, you know, I, it's a blessing and a curse to have a wide array of interests. Yeah, I'm the same way. I'll tell you the thing that maybe the best way to answer this is when I think about what am I doing when I get into flow? Fastest? What do I do when the hours what am I doing when the hours are flying by when I end a long day of many hours of work, more energized, than when I started and not depleted, but full. And that is always around making music. It's always around making songs. It's always around producing, writing, mixing, mastering do the recording for everything about it. Because the way that music works for me, and for a lot of us is it involves a lot of different brain regions, you know, and so all of these things are lining up inside of our skulls at the same time. And so in the process of working on these sounds, I'm experiencing these sounds at the same time. And it's like a milkshake for your ears, man. It's just so good. Sometimes, yeah, and you just can't stop. And that's the thing. I think that is my true and persistent love of all the things, you know, all the things I've done over the years. Yeah, give me your all man flying the airplane. flying jets was beautiful, and amazing. And the people that I got to meet and work with, and work for and work around, and party with and travel the world with and hang out with, you know, with our families. Those people are just incredible, folks. Yeah, that experience was absolutely out of this world. But in terms of mean a lot of it was just work, like a lot of it was grind and study. And you know, you'd spend eight or nine hours outside the airplane for that one hour in the airplane. Because of all that's involved with it's not just at flying fighters, you know, you're pulling the airplane. There were certain times flying a jet when I was definitely in flow. But I can spend hours and hours and hours in this kind of flow state making music. So that's I think the thing that I'm most the thing that I do that I'm most passionate about.

Jason Frazell:

Yeah. Oh, man, Lars, I, you may have inspired a new question. So just to give you a little perspective on my little creative process here in my little podcast over here. I'm coming up on the end of year three, the end of season will be Thank you. It's kind of mind blowing. But something you said I just want to say this here, and I'm not. I think I might change this question is what are you on this earth to do? Because the experience that I have is the same. When I'm doing the things that I love it the time just flies by. And podcasting happens to be one of them. I don't think like I'm here to be a podcast or like things bigger than that. But that totally resonates for me. And I'm going to ask you a much more tactical question now that I haven't asked you yet. Who's your guitar hero? If you could play like one player? Would you choose?

Lars Emmerich:

The I? Historically, if you watched me over the years, you would have to say it Stevie Ray Vaughan because for the better part of a decade. I just mean, I learned a bunch of other songs. But the way that the way that that guy expressed himself musically is just out of this world. And so I learned I try to learn note by note, a large number of his songs. And at the end of that had a great deal of fun Trying to figure that out. What I took away from that experience, first of all, is that if I pick up a guitar today, probably the first thing that that you will hear will be some kind of a blues riff. So that, you know, that's now in my DNA, and I couldn't get rid of it if I wanted to. Yeah. But this is a more important thing. I will never be Stevie Ray Vaughn. Right, I will never no matter how much I tried to sound like him, I never sounded like him. I only ever got to the point where I sounded more like me. And so that day, I realized that, really the day that I realized that was okay. That was the day that sort of gave me the freedom to go start writing songs on my own recording songs on my own. And so Stevie Ray is certainly very formative in my world. But yeah, so there's a bunch. There's a bunch of Green Day stuff I know. And there's a bunch of, there's a bunch of Drop D heavy Rage Against the Machine stuff I know. So I just have all of these. I have all these different influences that, that I love. I love all of them for different reasons, and in different ways. Yeah. So

Jason Frazell:

I love that answer to I was one of the other things that I do my business, I do communications training, and we always talk. And this is really from our corporations. And we talk about how the best the best version of you as a speaker is you as a speaker. Like there's best practices, but I was I was thinking your answer by I'm a huge Stevie Ray Vaughan fan, as well. And I wish I could play more. I've tried them like, it's so frustrating. There's something Yeah, Lenny, is a guitar. But I'll give you an example of this. Before I move on to the next question. I'm a big deadhead. And whether whether or not you love John Mayer, the fact is dead and company is John Mayer playing Jerry Garcia licks as John Mayer. And it sounds spectacular, just like Jerry Garcia, also a phenomenal guitar player. But if you listen to the recordings, you can tell it's not Jerry Garcia, or that's not John Mayer playing previously. But it's John Mayer playing in the style of Jerry Garcia. And it's spectacular, spectacular playing across the board. And what I think they did so well about debt and company. And when they first announced that in 2015, they got a ton of, they got a ton of flack like John Mayer is going to be the new Jerry Garcia. They don't get flak about anymore, he's phenomenal. Because they, they, they've taken that band, and they've said, Hey, John, as the CO leader of this new band, you're only gonna play our Grateful Dead stuff, but you're gonna do in the John Mayer style. And it's amazing. Just like, it's just so cool. There wasn't like, I'm not trying to be Jerry Garcia. I'm not trying to do these things, I'm going to make it in my own style, which is this works. I also think there's probably a reason there's never been a Stevie Ray Vaughn cover band, because it's just, you're just gonna, you're gonna leave this, you're gonna leave the venue or the studio just feeling bad about yourself,

Lars Emmerich:

you will for sure. There's your talk. And it struck me, maybe the work that we're all called to, even though we don't know it, is to develop the confidence and the integrity to be who and what we are. And, of course, you've heard it 1000 times before, but until you found all the ways or until you're, you get good at noticing all the times when you're trying to live into somebody else's expectation for your life or for your and you're trying to morph yourself around some kind of mold, usually to achieve some kind of outcome, usually to achieve some kind of business outcome. It's also really striking when you go in, we both love music. One of the things that I study is the greats. Those people who wrote songs 2030 4050 years ago, the songs that have become part of the social fabric, the social milieu that we we live in, yeah, who are those enduring people? What are those enduring works? Almost without exception, there are people who stuck out like a sore thumb, from their environment at the top trough with the degree of different pneus and maybe even weirdness that that they brought, just by virtue of who they who they were, and they had the balls to be, who they are and what they were. And male and female, some of the I mean, totally literally the best examples of this. I didn't mean to use balls. What I meant is courage. Some of the absolute best examples of this are female artists who Yeah, just decided not Oh, my place is not in the home. bloomer man. My place is making this music being on this stage. And that's just so and so. firing. It's so it's a hard lesson to implement in your own life because you're always editing and judging yourself until you get good at not.

Jason Frazell:

And then the market always tells you, there's billions and billions and billions of dollars spent, including the industry that I'm in, I think what the industry that you that some of the work you do is that you're not good enough at what you do. You don't know enough and you need to hire other people, you need to take online courses you need to do well, I mean, you you know, as a musician, you walk into a music store, and there's 1000s of products that will tell you that you will have the perfect sound only after firing you at my Yeah, my former guitar teacher used to always say, it's a man it's in the fingers. Like at the end of the day, it's in the FITS and Stevie's fingers. Yes, you know, his unique way of bending strings is, you know, like, you I'm sure if you're Stevie fan, you know, he's his fingers used to bleed because he would use the strings. You and I are gonna likely, I'm not gonna be able to do that. I'm going to I'm not going to go that extra mile. And just the uniqueness this is yeah, this is really mind blowing. And this applies everywhere your uniqueness as a parent, your uniqueness as an author? How are you going to uniquely write these words that are not going to sound like other thriller writers out there? That's going to make it uniquely yours, Lars. So yeah, just beautiful conversation. So what is the thing that you're most proud of?

Lars Emmerich:

Hmm. I'm, I'm, I'm proud of my service to our country. And I certainly have mixed feelings about the outcomes we achieved and the reasons we were there. But I am proud of the place that it came from, from within me and my friends and and my fellow warriors, we, our hearts were in the right place. We didn't know everything we would want to know about those scenarios. And I think if we did no, we would have had more to say about what they were asking us to do. But we, we served with integrity. I am also I think, I feel some pride in having mustered the courage to stick out like a sore thumb. It is really, really hard when a bunch of people all over the globe know you in one context. And then you pour a bunch of life energy into a new context. All the while, you're wondering what so and so is going to think about your new gig. And then what the other this other person is going to think about you now. Oh, you know, old so and so used to always say this about people who were doing what I'm doing. I wonder if he thinks I'm a putz. Now, you have all these echoes in your head, share what you're, you know, when you change pursuits of what people will will think about you. And that was hard for me because personality type wise, I'm was somebody who's was concerned about whether or not I'm living up to expectations. And so it took a lot of time and work to really live into that. There was a period of time when I was pretty mealy mouthed about all of it. Oh, yeah, I'm doing this book thing I you know, I don't know where it's gonna go. Yeah, you know, I make music. It's not very good, and all this kind of stuff. And at the time, it wasn't, but I just didn't know that the way you grow into it is you just grow into it. And you give yourself grace, and space. And then you trust yourself that you'll figure it out. And those were hard, hard earned lessons, I feel some pride and having to reverse that path to arrive at that some of those and there's a sense of pride when you when you feel that stuff come up and you and you handle it. Well, like oh, there's this again. No problem. Yeah, it's gone now. Now I can just go back to being who I am in this context.

Jason Frazell:

Yeah, we start to wrap up. I have a there's a question that I will ask you. It's like, how long can you actually be with your own greatness? Yeah, well, and some of the top performers in the world are like this. I think it was Giannis from the Milwaukee Bucks after they want to go back to sports your favorite? No, but I just I was really broken. I love I love sports love. Yeah, no kidding. He I think they were interviewing him the day after they won the champ. Alright, he won the MVP. And they said something like, Hey, so what's what's next? And he's like, Well, I he's like I was the MVP last season. It's a new season. Like that's what I mean, which I think is really cool mindset. But he's like, he's like I won for the 21 or that from the 2021 season. That season's over. I'm getting ready for the next which is great. But also, most of us most most high performers what my experience I work with a lot of I consider myself when I'm sure you are as kids Have yourself into is one of the challenges that we have is we're not willing to sit with our greatness and what's what's next. What's next? What's the next book? What's the next riff I'm gonna play. And that actually creates a, it creates a cycle that's really fulfilling in some ways but also can also be the the killer of creativity is where I see how it affects me. Amen. So Lars, how do you see the world? Clear? 35,000 feet in the cockpit? Clear every day?

Lars Emmerich:

Yeah, leader every day. I'll tell you what, it's a gorgeous world from up there for sure. I can imagine a gorgeous world, we did a lot of night flying. And you could, yeah, when you get up above the city lights, you can see the stars in a way when you see the Milky Way the Galaxy spread out across the horizon. When you see the world from that perspective. It it really does drive home. And you hear astronauts talk about this, as well. It's just one planet. Yeah, there's eventually you run out of places to hide and just one planet, eventually, we're all going to have to get along it to do that. I think the game is about seeing things as clearly as you can. And also getting good at seeing things from another person's perspective. As if you had that person's life experiences. It's not enough just to say, what would I do with my education? In my background? In my upbringing, in my professional CV? What would I do if I were in your shoes, Mr. So and so that's not it? That's not the game. The game is if I had walked this path, how might my understanding be different? How might that change the way I showed up to this moment in the way that somebody else is showing up this moment. And I think when you start to make, and it's a practice, man, it's nothing that you ever get perfect. It's just something that you keep practicing. But when you do, it's amazing what opens up. It's amazing the relationships that you have access to that, that sort of just blossom, of their own volition. Because you have taken the time to see the world through somebody else's eyes as somebody as as them and or at least to attempt to, of course, he won't be perfect, but, man, it gives you so much more empathy. It gives you so much more kindness, especially if you've also had some practice seeing these things come and go inside of your own emotions and your own psyche. You realize, yeah, we have a lot more in common than I think, like we're 99 and a half percent the same. Does that one half percent that we're focusing on, which again, is a cliche, but

Jason Frazell:

yeah, but it's also it's also the thing, that there's a lot of money being made in that last half percent. percent.

Lars Emmerich:

That's right. Yeah. That's right.

Jason Frazell:

Well, Lars, let's talk about books. What do you have going on in your writing career? Like how people can connect with you? Can ya just hear everything you're up to? What's the best way for people to learn more about what you're up to

Lars Emmerich:

just go to Lars dot buzz, it's my best offer. La rs.bu ZZ. Or you can just ask Google Lars Emmerich, LSRs, E N, E, R ich, and my books will pop up. And you can find them that way. Also, so if you're, when they're thrillers, they're edgy. They're dark at times, and they're not for everybody. But if you enjoy thrillers, and if you enjoy if you enjoy a an interesting take what I hope is an interesting take on what people believe to be common commonplace events. And if you like, these kinds of scenarios, when there's always more there than meets the eye, you're seeing you think you're seeing something normal, but there's a significance beneath it that you don't understand. I love those things. And so those are the themes that I explore in among others in the thrillers. So large dot Buzz is a great place to go and check them out if you're so inclined.

Jason Frazell:

Yeah. Awesome. Lars, we'll throw that in the show notes as well. Before we wrap up here. Did you have you always been a writer? I'm always curious about writers because I am not a writer. So is this something you? You had a pull towards growing up? And did you do it in the military? And

Lars Emmerich:

yes, I've so I've always been a writer, I've always been looking to distill usefully and simply complicated scenarios. And sometimes you can't. Sometimes you just can't. You have to. You just have to embrace the complexity. But I've always tried to find a clear and memorable way to bring an idea across you know, this, I would try to help guys not kill themselves in the airplane. You know, trying to get Across the kids in parenting, and I think that idea, how do I make something understandable and memorable, memorable is writing. And so I've always, I've always enjoyed and appreciated, you know, a nice turn of phrase. So I just applied that to novels. But I write every day I write something every day. Occasionally, it's a novel. But usually, it's observations about, about the human condition and other things. So, yes, I've always been a writer and I will be a writer probably until the day that I am too senile to remember any words.

Jason Frazell:

Excellent. All right. That is not the way I expect you to finish that sentence to Xenon, remember those words. Alright, last thing for us. Leave us with some short and sweet words of wisdom you want us all to know, remember, do whatever, whenever you want.

Lars Emmerich:

Yeah, watch your thoughts and emotions. When you see them for what they are, be honest. And give yourself grace. You won't want to see what you see much of the time. But understand that it's normal. You have the six year old inside of you, that six year old will be inside of you forever. And he or she will have something to say forever. And you're big enough to allow him or her inside of you, inside of your head inside of your psyche. Give that part of you grace and love and no more attention than it deserves. And if you do I think life gets a lot easier.

Jason Frazell:

Yeah, Lars so good to have you on glad we made this happen. I want to wish you the best with the books. The books you'll have coming out keep on rockin over there in the free world. If you ever do fully figured out Texas flood you let me know I it's it's been a lifelong journey of No, I

Lars Emmerich:

can't do it. But not right.

Jason Frazell:

Yeah, not but yeah, not well. Well, let's let's let's reframe here as we wrap up. You can't play it like Stevie. But if he was still with us, you probably go you know what, you don't need to play my stuff like me want to play like you. Yeah, and it's not going to be as good as me. But it's

Lars Emmerich:

and that's fine. Yeah.

Jason Frazell:

Thanks so much for the time. Lars. Appreciate it.

Lars Emmerich:

Thank you. This is a great opportunity. Thanks, Jason. Thanks.

Unknown:

Thanks for listening to another episode of talking to cool people with Jason for sale. If you enjoyed today's episode, please tell your friends. Follow us on Instagram and Facebook and give us a shout out or take a moment to leave a review on iTunes. If something from today's episode pique your interest and you'd like to connect, email us at podcast at Jason for zazzle.com. We love hearing from our listeners because you're cool people too.