Pete Wilson - Author, Coach, Speaker, Former Pastor

Jason Frazell: 0:12

Alright, everybody, I'm so excited about my next guest. My guest today is Pete Wilson. He's a life coach. He's the former lead pastor and plant at trust point in Nashville, which is a quite large church. I got a chance to see Pete speak about a couple months ago, at an event I was at. And I immediately said to the person that we knew in common and said, I need to have Pete on my podcast, and we made it happen within a couple of months speed. So welcome. So glad you're here with us today. Awesome. It's an honor. Jason, I appreciate you allowing me to be a part of this conversation. Yeah, you can also probably tell from from Pete's accent that he's not from New York like I am, or I'm actually Richard from Minnesota. So Pete, where are you coming in from today? Nashville, Tennessee. I've lived here pretty much all my life. Yeah, I was there last week. I love Nashville. And I never been there until last year, and I've been there seven times in the last nine months. I love Nashville. Never shortage of things to do. It's such a cool city. It's a fun place to live. I didn't realize and maybe it wasn't cool. Growing up. I don't know. Maybe it's like a new thing. But it is a great city. I love it. Yeah, that's great. Well, I know you have a lot to talk about. So let's get right into what's what's something you nerd out about.

Pete Wilson: 1:26

So I would say I nerd out about gardening. I for some reason ever, like post college. I planted my first like garden and vegetable garden. And I love it. I like study it. I love planting new things every year. I love taking care of the eating

Jason Frazell: 1:48

I guess maybe if you do garden it's kind of a cool thing. I just I really enjoy it some about it. I love it. Yeah, this is how to connect with my wife. My wife has always wanted to garden this year we live on a pretty big property upstate New York and her we went from no garden to literally this thing looks like a jungle now like we and we we went we did the we did the raised beds and it's really her and my my six year old daughter and then her friend who's done it but I looked over there the other day I said what is that? She's like, those are watermelons. I said but it looks like a jungle. It's crazy. But it's been it's been a lot of fun brings her a lot of joy and and it's so amazing to eat that food out of there tastes so good. What's it is? We're gonna ask my favorite thing to grow. Well, I was gonna ask you. Yeah, I was gonna ask you two questions. Pete one, what's your favorite thing to grow into? What's the new thing you're growing this year since you said you'd like to do something new every year? Yeah, so favorite thing that grows probably corn, just because we're big. And it just it is vague. So it's kind of cool.

Pete Wilson: 2:52

In the new thing, my favorite new thing this year is kale. I've never grown kale before. And I planted way too much of it. I haven't every day for lunch. Yeah. But yeah, I'm loving. Yeah, where you finally you're officially hipster status in New York if you'd like to, like the hipster like kale, salad, kale and everything. Okay, let's go to my wife's growing kale, or we're growing kale as well. It's really good. What did you grow? Did you grow up in a sort of horticulture, horticultural family or anything gardening, farming, anything like that? I did. The very first workshop plan. And I was a senior in college, and it was kind of in a rural area in southern Kentucky. And a lot of them had gardens, and I just would visit with them. And this, this lady gave me this really, really old book about gardening. And I still have it to this day. It's kind of my little gardening Bible, if you will. And as long as I follow that book, everything I plant, like when I plan it always turns out great. So I don't know, I just kind of got the bug there. In my early 20s. And I don't know I really enjoy it. Yeah. Last question for your on gardening.

Jason Frazell: 4:06

How How long is the gardening season in Nashville?

Pete Wilson: 4:10

So there's really two you can do you like early spring where you can plant your cold season thing for us? Yes. It'd be like beginning of April like potatoes, lettuce, carrots, all that kind of stuff. And then it kind of phases out and then you get more of your summer stuff. Right? So your corn, squash, tomatoes, all that stuff is great. And heat. Yeah, so that's that's kind of beginning of June for us. We're just now really kind of getting that stuff. And that's enough and you could technically plant a phone or I'm usually by that point done with it. And I'm ready to fill the whole thing under and wait until next spring.

Jason Frazell: 4:50

Yeah. Oh man. Somebody's got analogies about planting churches planting gardens what you know, like, the energy that we start things with and now we end up with so good. I love that. Yeah, where are we We live we live up, we live in the Catskills like 110 miles northwest of New York City. around October, we're done. Like because of the weather. We can have snow like things die, and the grass stops growing. And then we don't do anything until April. But then we get a the April season is amazing because of all the water. Awesome Pete's. So let's. So let's move into comfort zones, something as a coach, I'm sure you spend a lot of time with your clients on as a former pastor, I spent a lot of time there as well. What's something that's inside of your comfort zone that you know is outside somebody else's? And I'm going to caveat this question and take the old public speaking teaching in front of our drums right off the table? Because that would just be way too easy.

Pete Wilson: 5:41

Yeah, that would have been my go to so yeah, of course.

Jason Frazell: 5:45

I did catch it this year, Episode 140, I believe. So I know how this goes when I interviewed speakers. And

Pete Wilson: 5:52

I would say sometimes in my comfort zone that's outside of a lot of other people's comfort zone is asking difficult questions. And that hasn't always been in my comfort zone. And that's something that I really learned. And probably the biggest difference between what I spent my life doing like the first 20 years of my adult life versus what I'm doing now is I spent, you know, a couple of decades, essentially speaking and telling people what they should believe. And now, actually what, instead of speaking and telling them what to believe I get to ask really interesting questions of people that make them think through their process and what's going on in their mind and life. And I've become extremely comfortable with asking difficult questions and difficult follow up questions. And I really, really enjoy the power of a good question.

Jason Frazell: 6:48

Yeah. And we were catching up. You know, you were both coaches. That is something that you get trained to do. And it is one of the things that I don't know, I'd love to get your opinion on this. One of the things that I think is really lost in the marketplace around like what a life coach does, or an executive coach, we're not necessarily teaching you anything. We're asking you questions that the way that I've been trained is like your clients actually know the answer. They're just either unwilling to, they're unwilling to admit it, or they it's just inside of them somewhere. I'd love to know, because I'm always loving to get the cheat codes from other amazing coaches. What's an example of a difficult question that you've asked a client recently?

Pete Wilson: 7:30

I think, I think one of the most difficult questions that I can think of most recently would be asking somebody, what are you tolerating right now in your life that you shouldn't be? And it's, it's interesting, because it's, you know, it's not always something that's bad. It's just something they're tolerating something that they, it could be a relationship, it could be something inside of the work. It could be a habit. It's like, what are you tolerating right now that you shouldn't be? And what do you think you need to do about that? That's one of my favorite. Yeah, difficult questions.

Jason Frazell: 8:07

That's a great one. That's a great one. I like that too. Because it, we all have, we all have things we tolerate. And many times those things we tolerate, they don't really serve anything we care about. It's purely tolerating. I have, you have a much more gentle style than I do. I asked a question yesterday, when are you going to cut the bleep? Yeah. They're like, Oh, I needed that. Yeah, it depends on the client. Some clients need to be spoken to that way others don't. I had a, I had kind of drawn a blank on his name. Tim Ferriss had him on his podcast a few times. He's, I think he's done a lot of work with Tim Ferriss, and he had this. And I'm just trying to blanket his name. But he had this question that just got me. And he said that my coach asked me, what is it that you can own about how it's going for you?

Pete Wilson: 8:58

Oh, I'm gonna write that down. Right.

Jason Frazell: 9:00

Yeah, I'll email you. Yeah, I'll email you separately with who it is. Because once I remember it all, it's just on the tip of my tongue, but that's a good one. It's like we always have some ownership and how it's going for us. It's never done completely to us. Yep. There's something we've done consciously or subconsciously. All right, Pete, I'm excited about this next one. So what's something that is outside of your comfort zone that you know, is inside of other people's?

Pete Wilson: 9:30

I think honestly, trying new things, you know, as much as I push other people to try new things, step out in faith, take a risk. And I've taken many in my life, but it's never felt comfortable. I've never felt confident about stepping out trying something. I know other people that almost it's like the air they breathe. It's like they think you're Elon Musk. You know, they just love trying you Anything and everything. And I wish I had a little more of that. But again, I think that's the power of a coach. Because for me, you know, I have coaches, and that's where they really come into play is pushing me where I need to be pushed. And, and sometimes it's pushing me out of my comfort zone trying something new, something it's not proven yet. And for a lot of my life, I've made it appear like I'm taking some big risk. But the reality is I knew like, it was out in advance. I knew this was a safe bet sounded big sounded like, Whoa, he's gonna want, but I knew that it was already pretty much in the bag. And so I'm really trying to find a way to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. But I'm not Yeah.

Jason Frazell: 10:49

Yeah. That sounds like a journey of a lifetime. Most likely, yes. Yes. So Pete is somebody who, you're comfortable asking difficult questions. But you don't necessarily like to do the uncomfortable things. And as a father, you have children? How do you address that with the children? And I know you have a young child. So he's proud. They're probably a little young for this. But for the older ones, how do you address this with them? Like, do you see this pattern in them? And if do you encourage them to ask the curious questions? Do you encourage them to also get outside of their comfort zone?

Pete Wilson: 11:23

Yeah, I absolutely do encourage them, to comfort them. And I think that they are more comfortable with the uncomfortable than I ever was. My all three of my boys, older boys play football, which is something I never did. It's not a part of our history or story. They they have always been willing to go out there and just give it their all my my youngest son, who is 16 is a sophomore in high school this year, he's going to be the quarterback for the varsity team. He really finds himself in this, you know, he's grateful for the opportunity. But he also knows that a little bit outside of his league, but he's totally stepped up into that. And you know, I don't know, I'd like to think some of that has been myself, their mom, shaping them, preparing them to step into those uncomfortable moments that challenged them to rise above what they currently have. Yeah. I'm sure it's a mix of that, and personality and all kinds of things. But it's fun. It it brings me great joy to watch my kids get out of their comfort zone. And at the same time, they're probably my greatest inspiration for why I'm willing. Even I'm comfortable with it. I'm willing to get out of that comfort zone. Yeah. Because I want to model that for them. Right. Yeah. And see me take on new challenges. So it's been fun to watch that.

Jason Frazell: 12:55

That's awesome. Pete All right. I love asking this for people who speak for a living. Partially, this is how I met you, I saw you speaking to a large group of us. So if I gave you this sounds like great question to ask a former pastor. I mean, how many I was actually talking about this. With me, he said, a pastor is a tough job, because you have to write a speech every week. Like every week, and I know you, you know, you go to seminary to get trained on that. But that's a lot of content to generate. You know who it was it was our friend Rory, who said he's goes pastors have it more than anybody else to speakers. I think Rory said, He's like, he's like I wrote this speech like five years ago and get paid a bunch of money to go deliver. It's the same thing I've done 1000 times, like, every week, Pete's got to come up with something new, at least for a year, and then maybe rinse and repeat. But if I was to give you five minutes, and you had a message to share with the entire world, what would you talk about to us? And what would you want us to do at the end of the speech? In other words, you know, this is the, what's the call to action, this is the Sunday walk away, like I'm inspired, I'm gonna go and do this thing. What would what would that be?

Pete Wilson: 14:01

Yeah, it would be kind of falls in line, actually, with the event that you and I met. And I was speaking on the power of thoughts. I think right now, in this season of my life, I am mesmerized, and almost also a little embarrassed that I didn't connect the dots earlier in my life. But this whole idea that your life is moving in the direction of your most powerful thoughts. And so what you think about yourself, what you think about other people, what you think about the world that you live in, is crucial. It's so important, and most of us really don't take the time to think that we can create these thoughts. We think that we're almost like a victim of the thoughts that pop into our mind when the reality is we absolutely have the ability to create the thoughts that we have in by yourself about others and about the world. And so if I had Five minutes with a group of people, I think, even though I saw a lot of time I would dig into this idea that your life is moving in the direction of your most powerful bots. And I think like call to action, what I want to leave them with is, do you like the direction you're headed? And if not, exactly, let's work on your thought life, right? And because it's something that we can all work on.

Jason Frazell: 15:20

Yeah, I love that I, before we go to the commercial break, this is so perfect. Behind me and audience can't see this. But these yellow books are somebody that I know, is an amazing leadership development person. And literally, we recorded him yesterday in his podcast, that little box is a box of 46 circular cards. And they're called Change cards. And they're prompting questions you could use in a workshop, you could use live. And because I know him, and we know each other, he's like, Hey, for the podcast, what I want to do for your session where I'm going to ask you something, I'm actually going to ask you to answer a couple of these questions. And what's really fun about these as you hold them, he held up the screen. And one of the questions Pete was, what's a limiting belief you have about yourself right now? And what's another belief you could have about it instead of the one you currently have? And I love that because it's like, so easy in it. For me. It was like, oh, like I'm, I'm a little bit overweight. And then I'm like, Well, no, I mean, maybe statistically, but actually, I'm in the best shape of my life since college. And like, and that's something to be proud of. was like the reframe. I love that. So good. Pete. Well, thanks for everything you shared with us. So far. We'll be right back after this.

Unknown: 16:32

The talking to cool people podcast is brought to you by Jason for sell coaching. Jason works with amazing people who are looking to find and develop their passion and purpose and create their journey to wherever it is they want to go. Check us out at Jason frazell.com, Facebook or on Instagram. Jason loves hearing from anyone who thinks it would be cool to connect, to be coached, or to be a guest on our show. email him at podcast at Jason frazell.com. Or DM him on Facebook and Instagram. And now, back to some a more amazing conversation on talking to cool people.

Jason Frazell: 17:13

All right, Pete, we're back. What else do you want us to know about you?

Pete Wilson: 17:19

That's a great question. Yeah, I think an important part of my life is that, you know, I went through some really tough season, I mean, a difficult season and went through a divorce, which was just devastating to me. You know, I think any divorce is tough. But when it's public divorce, and when you're a pastor, it's like, you can do a lot of things as a pastor, but one like big no, go through divorce. So that was a really, really tough season in my life. And when I, it leveled me, I'm a people pleaser. Instead of find myself understood in a situation where the people who don't approve of me not happy with my life, blah, blah, blah. It was a lot of play a two year period where I felt like I was an absolute rock bottom. But coming out of that, and really being empowered to realize that I did have the power to bounce back, I had the power to come back, I have the power to get back up on my feet again, and figure out how do I want to create my life moving forward. I don't have to live a default Life Where I'm somehow the victim of circumstances around me people's opinions, but I can create the life that I want. And I had this blank canvas. And it lit me up in a way that I really hadn't felt alive in a long time. But that's a big part of who I am, is feeling that pain and hitting that rock bottom that I did. And also being able to overcome that and rebuild and discover a life that while it's not what I ever thought it would be. I'm so grateful and a love the life that I'm getting to live these days. Yeah.

Jason Frazell: 19:04

Pete, I'm going to assert that you didn't do that alone. That's right, therapy, counseling fellow pastors, maybe coaches, like I was just thinking about this. I grew up going to church and I just think about the context. The belief system that people in a congregation put on the pastor, and how when you see them as fallible, like call the divorce felt like even if it's not fallible, and maybe it was the right move, but like, I can imagine somebody like who's this guy who is this guy to stand up here when you know he doesn't have his blank together and MSP so challenging? It sounds like it was something that needed to happen in order for you to live the life you're living now and and have that beautiful little one year old and do all the things and get to run your own business now and you know, feel like being a pastor is is a lot like being a teacher or a principal like some of it sounds amazing and some of just sounds absolutely absolute misery.

Pete Wilson: 20:03

You, your observation is spot on. There's some amazing things about it. And certainly has to be like a calling in someone's life. With the other side. That's so amazing.

Jason Frazell: 20:14

And there's such different skill sets usually like, if people that like I love people, I love to get up and speak in front of people, I like to write content, like, Oh, and also you have to do your taxes and file these forms with the IRS and like, I am maybe speaking from experience, I think you and I are similar like, nope. Don't want to do that, though. You have to be a leader of people too. And like, Oh, they're not motivated. How do you?

Pete Wilson: 20:37

Yeah, it's a lot. mazing?

Jason Frazell: 20:42

Yeah, well, so Pete, what would you like to ask me that I can answer for you. And for everyone listening. We don't really know. We've only known each other about other we were in a room. We didn't get a chance to talk. We've known each other for about 32 minutes now.

Pete Wilson: 20:55

Yeah, well, I was gonna ask you what you're tolerating that you shouldn't be tolerated.

Jason Frazell: 20:58

Oh, I loved I love difficult questions.

Pete Wilson: 21:03

I'm gonna use that one. Okay, yeah, I'll give you an option. You can answer that question. Or my other question would be, if you knew that failure was not an option. Yeah. What is it that you would try to do?

Jason Frazell: 21:21

I'm gonna, I'm gonna answer both. Okay. And by the way, good coaching, you give your client a choice. And I feel like I'm your client right now, client choice. I'm going to start with the one if I knew failure wasn't an option, I would figure out how to be the lead guitar player in a in a Grateful Dead tribute band.

Pete Wilson: 21:38

That's awesome.

Jason Frazell: 21:39

I mean, I would, I would like to be, I would like to be the lead guitar player in debt and Company. Although I think John Mayer probably likes that gig. Yeah, but Bob Weir, if you're listening, you know, Bob, we are the people who manage debt and company. If you're looking for somebody, I can't guarantee the same skill level or the level of fandom but I will give it a run. But as you heard Pete said it failure was not an option. There you go. So that was actually

Pete Wilson: 22:06

yeah. Quick story. Yeah, I have this ongoing journey. I have it at least once a year, where I'm the lead guitar player for Taylor Swift. And I'm like, I'm on stage. And I know in the dream that I can't play guitar, but I'm playing guitar. And it sounds awesome. And like, why Taylor Swift? I have no idea. But I have this dream about once a year. So I get it, man. I

Jason Frazell: 22:35

get it. Oh, Pete, I think I think you need to be paying attention to what the messages are coming in to you. We'll have you back on next year. You'd be like, Jason, guess what? I just played a Taylor Swift. And you don't but the thing is, you don't play guitar or you do play guitar.

Pete Wilson: 22:51

Living in Nashville. I cannot say I play guitar. Yeah, right. For five chords. That's it.

Jason Frazell: 22:58

So you play like Taylor plays that makes a ton of sense. Throw capo? Yeah, exactly. You can definitely play I was like, That's a funny dream. I've never had that dream. But yeah, so that's the answer to that one. What am I tolerating in my life? Man, there's, there's a lot of things, the first thing that really comes to mind. This is going to be a very elevated coach answer because I've actually addressed this with my coaches. For me, there's such a fine line between resignation, obligation, empowerment and commitment, and how those things are constantly fluctuating. Like there's some things like this podcast is I am committed to it and it's empowered and I love it. And I will never stop doing it until I feel like I can't do it anymore, but I'm committed to it. There's other things that I am responsible for. And this is really more of my in the work like obviously I'm a family person too. So there's things are responsible, but I you know, I I take that responsibility seriously and I like it most of the time. There are some things in my business that I just feel like I'm committed to and I'm like this is purely an obligation I don't want to do this thing and I'm tolerating it because I'm also I'm from Minnesota if you want to talk about people pleasing we can we can have a whole long conversation about that where I'm like I committed to this thing because it felt like it had to get done and now it's it's something that takes up time and energy and an emotional energy for me and I don't see the value in it. And I'm also just to admit I'm not willing to look for the value in it you know, like somebody's coaching like Well is there value in them like maybe but I have a value a lot of other values other words so there's certain things I should just really just cut straight up cut like obligations that don't don't feel fulfilling but I'm also somebody I like to do a lot and so yeah, I tolerate I tolerate over committing which leaves me in a place of I'm reliable to get it all done. I love your now Yeah, I love this Pete now has like, I feel like I'm getting I'm in a coaching session Pete Scott is he's got his active listening face on I love it. I feel like I'm in a season in my life where things are poppin. For me, as we talked about before you press record. And some of these things just don't serve what I'm up to period. Like, why? Why am I why am I the VP of this club that like, doesn't provide me anything and just as work? So yeah, that that's, that's the main thing that comes up for me is I'm just I'm just tolerating the tolerating a few things in my life like, this is not important. It doesn't affect my family, I don't see it as valuable for my business, it's not really valuable for my health, or my any part of my well being. It's just the thing that I said I would do. So now I'm going to do it, which is how I was raised in a good way, like, person of integrity, person of commitment, you say, you're going to do the thing that you need to do the thing, even though might be painful, and you don't see how it serves you, quite frankly, it's low stakes, but it's probably the breakthrough my life and time is to say no to things that I don't want to do. Okay, yeah, it's because that's been a valuable mechanism. For a lot of my life. I was in sales. And I was like, did sales engineering work, which is I'm the guy that everybody comes to when they have questions about stuff. And I'm the Yes, man. Like, yeah, we'll figure it out together. But I don't need to be that person anymore. And a lot of lot of places, spaces I play in. That's great. That's good. All right, Pete, we got to do a whole nother episode where we coach each other, we'll do a coaching demonstration. That was good. Great question. So many follow up. I know you do. I'm looking at your face. You're like, so what are you doing after this podcast? I'm very curious. That's great. Pete Awesome. questions. Thank you so much. Pete, what are you passionate about?

Pete Wilson: 26:33

I think right now, my family, I am in such a neat place where I've got these three older boys who are growing into young men. And anyways, and then I have this little baby girl who's one. And it's such a gift. You know, we're talking a little bit off the podcast about, you know, being an older dad, and definitely an older dad. And, but with that comes a wisdom, right? And my boys I was in season my life where everything was about building and going and traveling and speaking. And, and at the same time, I was always wanting them to be the next stage. What do you want to do right in the front seat, when can you walk with me and take care of you. And I'm not that way at all. With this little girl. That's great. I know, she's gonna hit all those marks. And she's gonna do that. I don't need to wish away the moments. I've learned a presence of just being there. And I'm really passionate about that. I'm passionate about getting the right boys and passionate about getting right with this little girl. And that's probably what lights me up more than anything these days is strategizing around and planning around, carving out lots of time to just kind of invest in them. I really believe that their contributions to the world are going to far outweigh any contribution I've ever made. So my wisest investment these days is pouring into them. Yeah, that's what I'm passionate about.

Jason Frazell: 28:08

Yeah, I was thinking about your youngest son, who's the quarterback. And I'm a Vikings fan. So I was gonna say if you if you sense that he's got some real talent, please continue to invest. And then we'll see if we can we'll depending on the year that he comes out in the draft, I'd love to see him in it if I can do to four.

Pete Wilson: 28:25

There you go. I would be happy to see him in any uniform, so Yeah, sounds good to me.

Jason Frazell: 28:31

Even the Jets. I'm gonna say it even the Jets.

Pete Wilson: 28:36

I will I'll support him wherever he goes.

Jason Frazell: 28:38

Yeah, exactly. Well, the Jets currently have a Wilson at quarterback Zach Wilson from BYU. Yeah, that's cool. Well, I will tell you you're in for a treat as the daddy of a daughter. My daughter is the oldest one she's six we have an awesome really she's so much fun now just there's something really special out there like again like the John Mayer callback, like dots. You know, fathers Be good to your daughters. There's something really, really special about that relationship. And he asked me a lot of fun. I'll bet you your boys must just love love having a one year old little sister. That must just be what a cool experience for them.

Pete Wilson: 29:15

Yeah, at first they were a little bit hands off. But they're they're they're they're learning their way. I noticed this summer that kept we went to the beach for vacation. They kept coming over and getting her and going for walks. Like that's great. They're willing to spend all this time with her. But I also discovered that they discovered that when they have that little baby that that little baby is that chick magnet and so they smart man rolls, so they're they're using it to their advantage smart

Jason Frazell: 29:43

man smart man. I will say this, whoever ends up dating your daughter. That's a frightening proposition. It'd be like, Hey, we can go on a date. By the way. I have three brothers that are like in their 30s One of them is a flip All player just to let you know ahead of time. And my dad's a coach, so he's probably going to have a lot of questions.

Pete Wilson: 30:06

Yeah, we got a great setup to interrogate, oh, it's scare the fire. And if any boy,

Jason Frazell: 30:12

that's amazing. So Pete, I think you may have just answered this next question. but I'll ask anyway, what's the thing you're most proud of?

Pete Wilson: 30:21

It probably would be my kids, I would I would put that in number one, but I just talked about them and why I'm proud of them. I think behind that, I would say, looking back on my season of just being rock bottom, and believing even in the midst of all that, that there was a way out that I could get through this, that there was hope that anything's possible. Lots of the messages that honestly, for years, I told other people, but I don't think I'd ever let it move from my head to my heart. So I believe that to be true for everybody else, except for me. Yep. And so to get to a place where I can actually internalize that message, and believe it for myself, I'm really proud of that. And you already alluded to this, but there were a lot of people in my life, who believed in me when I couldn't believe in myself. Sure. And I don't I don't think I would have gotten there without them. But I'm really proud of the work I did in those years to really learn who I was, learn from mistakes, and didn't take that pain and create a purpose out of it to help other

Jason Frazell: 31:34

people. Yeah. Nice. So Pete, what's something that you're afraid might actually be true about you?

Pete Wilson: 31:43

I think that is a that's a great question. might be one of my best favorite questions I've ever been asked on the podcast. I would say I'm afraid that I might be an introvert. So my whole life. I thought I was an extrovert. And I think I'm learning I'm not. I'm actually an introvert. That has been posing as an extrovert all these years. So it's great. The more test I take and things I'm like, I think I mean, I love people. I love being around people. Yeah, but I'm learning. I'm learning how important quiet time is for me to like, re energize and recharge. And I didn't know I, I probably thought for about 40 years, I was an extrovert, but I'm afraid that the truth is I'm an introvert. Oh,

Jason Frazell: 32:37

that's so funny. I was gonna say, well, nothing has you want to rest and recharge by yourself, like being a dad in his 40s with a one year old as well, you're like, you're like I've had enough of people, including my own kids. I need I need to get away.

Pete Wilson: 32:51

Oh, man, and space. I have no space like, this cool space. And like, if I pan this camera in any direction, by one foot, you're gonna see nothing but toys. I can't find a credit that I can say that's my space.

Jason Frazell: 33:10

I love that beat. That's so good. It's like, it's like, like, we're getting the Instagram Instagrammable version of you the podcast version of you. That's so good. It's like Yeah, cuz you see, all these, you know, is like, how we know each other is through brandbuilders group. And we know some mutual people there. And you know, it's like, how do you present yourself to the world and you like, and I'm like, Wow, this looks like a really nice background. The house looks great natural light, you're like, right, and then there's like, toys that I stepped on literally one foot from the camera. That's how that's how our living room is now too. Especially with a one year old boy. I don't know if you probably remember this. Dude. He just like takes everything out. And he's like, Oh, I'm bored of that. And like 10 seconds. It's the worst.

Pete Wilson: 33:52

It's crazy, man. It's not that stuff. But you

Jason Frazell: 33:57

blocked it out of your memory. Yeah. Well, I was going to ask you now. So the second part of this question is, so we've distinguished that you're afraid that you might actually be an introvert, or do you compensate for that?

Pete Wilson: 34:12

Yeah, all right. I think for me, I'm just now learning. To be honest with you. It probably has a whole lot to do with why I burned out so bad six or seven years ago. Because I didn't have space to kind of retreat and fill back up. Kind of similar to the answer you to your the question I asked you about what do you tolerate? And no one ever taught me how to say no. All I was taught was say yes to every opportunity that came along and I was always plagued by this. If I say no to this, I might not ever get that opportunity again, right? Which sounds you really noble, but man that can lead to a really vicious cycle. And so yes, most of my life I did compensate for it. Now I know but neither of them I'm like, looking at my calendar for a day, I know that there has to be moments hours scheduled in there, where I'm really focused, and I'm doing writing. And, you know, with my coaching, I might limit for days three, three clients. If I'm forced into a situation where I have to coach more than three people in one day, they're not giving my best. Yeah, for sure. And a lot of energy. It is. Yeah, I take it really seriously. I pour myself into that. Yeah, but now I'm learning to listen to my mind, listen to my body. And, and really make sure I schedule those breaks in there so that I can recharge, so I can't be around a person or group of people and have a full tank of energy.

Jason Frazell: 35:46

Yeah. I love that. There's such a lesson in that, especially with service providers where you're going from call to call to call like, I had a call before this podcast of call after this podcast. I know you said you have something top of the hour here too. It's just go go go. How do you like re presents yourself, especially when you're doing different things called context shifting. My business is filled with context shifting, and that's the other thing I'm tolerating. I'm gonna go back and answer this for you. And maybe like, you can send me a contract at the end of this podcast for this session. But one of the other things I'm tolerating is, is not implementing things I know to be definitely best practices, like a given example. 50 minutes coaching sessions, not one hour, because from call to call, I end up forgetting what I talked about that client there how many space between like that all blends together just then that's just a small tactical example. But I could point at a whole bunch of different places where that's the thing. Very cool, Pete Very cool. It sounds like well, I am 100% extroverted on Myers Briggs. So I don't think I will ever relate as an introvert me. Like I said, I was in Nashville last week in a room with brandbuilders. We had 50 clients and, you know, mutual friends and like eight other people, and I'm like, this is just heaven. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, can we just can we go till midnight? I'm happy to keep working here. No problem. You know, like a lot of people like, oh, it's tiring. It's a lot to output. I'm like, yeah, for some people. Not not me. I'm loving it. You want to go out for drinks? Want to go have dinner? You want to keep doing the work? I'm good with any of it as long as we spend time together.

Pete Wilson: 37:17

Yeah, very nice. Is me bow 9pm. All right, you guys will be word Pico. You just walked out, you just left. Like,

Jason Frazell: 37:27

you're smart. Because you don't say goodbye. Because then you get oh P let's give you a hug. Let's say goodbye. And you got to make the rounds. You're like, Nah, I'm out. I'll see you in the morning. Disappear. That's good. So as we start to wrap up here, it's I have a couple more questions. So how do you see the world?

Pete Wilson: 37:43

It's a great question. I see the world. In life in general, as if life is happening for me, not to me. Yeah. And when I was talking earlier about the power of your thoughts and your life direction, your life moving in the direction of your most powerful thoughts, you know, you can through your thoughts, create the world that you live in, doesn't necessarily change the events, but it changes how you perceive the events, right? So I can wake up every day and so, economy's terrible. Politics is out of control. You know, I can go down to gas prices or you know, whatever. Yeah. Or I can choose to say, you know, what, I love this world that I live in, that things are happening for me and to me, you know, I believe this is my, my personal convictions. I live in a world underneath, you know, the rain of of a friendly God who wants Yeah, good for me. Yeah. And I believe in this world, most people are trying their best. And that again, I just changes the way that I interact with the world as it unfolds around me. And in a really powerful exercise.

Jason Frazell: 38:54

Yeah, do you know, the Michael Beckwith for four stages of consciousness? Have you ever heard of this model?

Pete Wilson: 39:00

I don't think so. Yeah, I

Jason Frazell: 39:01

just mentioned it really quickly. It's stage one is to me. So like what you said, like life is being done to me, the world is done to me, stage two is by me. So it's where I have complete, like, it's just complete control. So this is also a spiritual model. So if you take it into Christianity, you can see how this lines up. This can also be used outside of pure spirituality, by me is like Pete. Oh, Pete is the master of his domain, which I think we would most would agree most of us would agree like, we're not the only master of our domain. Stage three is through me, which is the spirit or the universe is working through me. And then stage four is Azmi. And I think, as me is the thing, when people realize their life's mission, you know, as an brandbuilders. We talked about like, what's the thing you want to be known for? What could you spend the rest of your life talking about the rest of your life doing? That's the Azmi. It's like, what are you actually here to do? And do that where you actually inhibit what you're meant to do here? So it's just you adds, it's a cool model to take a look at. I love that Very Nice. Pete.

Pete Wilson: 40:04

Yeah, that's really good.

Jason Frazell: 40:06

Yeah. And what's a great place as a coach to a client brings a problem, or they bring a challenge to you as they do as coach like, hey, like, where are you? Where are you looking at this from? Sounds like, you know, ever reflection for you, Pete, it sounds like this is being done to you. Yeah. Is that how it lands for you? Oh, yeah. How do you want it to go? Right. All right, Pete. So how can people connect with you and find you and all that good stuff.

Pete Wilson: 40:33

I'm really bad at that. But I will say that the easiest way is just go to Pete wilson.co.co. We couldn't afford Pete wilson.com. I can imagine. We just got the dot code. So Pete wilson.com. And you can find pretty much everything there on Instagram. It's P Wilson. But yeah, you can find out all about coaching stuff. On the website. We do a weekly podcast my wife and I do we also do a vlog family vlog, which is a lot of fun. But yeah, all that stuff there. I do. I love connecting with people. Yeah, let me know how you heard about it. And yeah, it's it's a lot of fun to be on this adventure.

Jason Frazell: 41:16

Yeah, that's awesome. I will give a plug for you. As I followed you, and I saw you speak. Families very adorable. So if you like adorable family stuff. You like these three big old boys. And then yeah, like the little girl. It's great. We'll put all that in the show notes. No reason to need to write that down. Especially if you're driving. Do not take your hands off the wheel. All right, Pete. It has been I'm so glad you made this happen. So guys, we got connected in Nashville. Now tradition on the show is some short and sweet. And you mentioned Instagram, Instagram, were the words of wisdom, short and sweet. What do you have for everybody listening?

Pete Wilson: 41:52

I just posted something on this idea this morning. Actually, I read this came across a quote somewhere I can't remember might have been on Instagram, who knows? Where it said, if you want to build a better future, you need to have a better past. And the idea first of all, it will cause your past as if it's concrete. Right?

Jason Frazell: 42:12

Right. Can't go back and change. That's what that's what came up for me when you said that. I was like, exactly. And that's

Pete Wilson: 42:17

what jumped out at me when I read that quote, yeah, but the idea behind it was, well, you can't change the past. You can change the way you see the past. You know, I'm telling you view the past. What did you learn from that? You know, if you're always looking at your past as if it was a negative thing, all these bad things that have happened to you. But what if you just twisted that a little bit? And you want to have because for most of us our past is not our past, right or past is still impacting our present. Would you have in a negative way? Yeah. So for me, it's just about right. How can I look back on my past, reframe that view it see what I learned from it, stop seeing stuff. From the standpoint it was all a failure that we're all learning opportunities. And so when you look at it that way, I think you can actually redeem your past and use it for good in the future.

Jason Frazell: 43:06

I love that Pete Well, again, thank you so much for being on Best wishes to you and the rest of the family. Keep doing what you're doing on the world. I know you're making a huge difference. And I look forward to seeing you in Nashville or somewhere else again sometime soon. And I'll see you live.

Pete Wilson: 43:20

I love that. Jason.

Jason Frazell: 43:21

Thanks so much. Thanks, Pete. Thanks, Ron. Thanks.

Unknown: 43:27

Thanks for listening to another episode of talking to cool people with Jason for Zell. If you enjoyed today's episode, please tell your friends. Follow us on Instagram and Facebook and give us a shout out or take a moment to leave a review on iTunes. If something from today's episode pique your interest and you'd like to connect, email us at podcast at Jason frazell.com. We love hearing from our listeners because you're cool people to